Welcome to week 4 of the A Mother’s Rule of Life online book study. If you are visiting for the first time, you can find the other weeks here. This week we are reading chapter 5- The Third P: Partner.
I struggle with this, too. I know I said a few weeks ago, but its a difficult thing to go from being just about your husband for 7 years to being a parent. I personally think the idea of “having a life” before children does a disservice to everyone involved. How can I be expected to deal with my husband in the same way, manner and/or quantity that I did before children? I can’t, I know, but he is accustomed to it. He understands it is different for sure, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t sometimes yearn for the way it used to be. How do I make him feel as valued now as I used to make him feel?
I found it interesting that I had very few notes to take away from this chapter. Obviously she is not clairvoyant and making your husband feel appreciated and valued is something Holly can’t give us. I did pull away three things, though.
- being available
- being accepting
Obviously our husbands have a lot on their shoulder’s, especially if they are the primary breadwinner. Some time this week, try to have a discussion with him about if there is anything that you can help him with and maybe ask what his biggest priorities/peeves are regarding things in your court. For instance, I once read a story about a woman who spent HOURS ironing her husband’s clothes because that’s what HER mother did. After talking to him, she found out he could care less and was annoyed that the floor was never vacuumed. Well, vacuuming is a LOT quicker than ironing his undies :). You might be surprised at what he notices and what he doesn’t. I’ve had this conversation with my husband on occasion and it always changes my chore list/priority.
If you are using the workbook, she includes healthy meal planning and weight management in this section. The healthier you (all) are, the more helpful you can be. Among other things *ahem* ;).
How to you feel about Holly’s definition of submission? How about her assertion that you should make yourself available? What did your husband’s say when you talked to them? Any surprises? Let us know if you had any, duh that’s so simple things come up? How to you keep your hubby feeling valued with kids? Please share!
Next week, we will be discussing the Fourth P: Parent.